Ever felt guilty...?

I got a rather apologetic email from The allotment lady yesterday. She apparently has been very sick with a coughing flu (something which the woman I work with has been suffering from - I've offered a few times to remove her lungs with a cargo hook to put her out of her misery, the coughing is so harsh) and offered a sincere apology.


She also told me I can only queue for 2 plots at once. Due to the demand for the Martin's Wood plot being around 3 years, she's put me on the Walkern road waiting list (so numbers 2 and 3) first. I'm 11th in line there.

What does that actually mean though? if it only has 11 plots that could be 11  years at a churn of 1 per year.... let's have a look:


assuming one plot per person:


Almond Hill - 75 plots = 17.33% of the plot holders need to churn before I get one
Walkern Road - 69 plots = 15.94% of the plot holders need to churn before I get one.


What's a reasonable churn rate, to give me some indication of when I might be successful? I mean, you'd assume it's fairly slow churn? Is 5% a reasonable assumption? That means 3 years....


10% sounds high but would mean around 18 months or so..... would 10% of people churn through that place? I guess the highest churn rate would be new plot holders - I'd imagine some people have had their plots for many many years.... yet some try it for a year then give up.


Anyway, food for thought on this chilly Friday.


Still a ray of hope from the lovely lady at the Allotment office.

The world just went mad

What happened to the past few days? To quote Brooks Hadlen in The Shawshank Redemption; '...the world just got itself in one big damned hurry'


My job which I was beginning to think had gone a tad stagnant, has suddenly gone bananas. There've been some silver linings with a carrot dangled for me but it has meant I am like an intercontinental ballistic missile from the moment I awake.


As such I still haven't applied for the extra sites.


Good job then, that my incredible ladyfriend has applied on my behalf for sites 2 & 6 - which are fairly close to my house!


Just think...soon we're gonna be hip-deep in weeds  veggies and pre bonsai material!!! It's quite exciting and frustrating in equal measure. I mean, let's face it, it could be three years (or more)  before I'm successful. And I could be a complete fucktard at it when I do get it...


But here's the plan...I'm saving for 5 years to buy a house, it'll take exactly that long to get going, so hopefully by then I'll have had that essential headstart I need, and can transfer stuff over. I'll be looking for a house with a BIG back garden to continue my exploits at home...


No updates then, as usual. this weekend I migt share some of the stuff I've learned so far

Nope, they definitely aren't answering

Well that's shite, it doesn't take a week to answer a fucking email, whether or not you do it in your spare time, so bollocks to them - I'm going to apply for every allotment in Stevenage and bombard them with paperwork.


By agreement with Stevenage Borough Council, they HAVE to apply within 7 days. so, they now have 15 application forms incoming...


It's just plain rude ignoring an email.

Feck Friday

No reply from the allotment association about waiting lists for other sites.

I will fill in loads of forms tonight, and bombard the fuckers

Here's a pic of the type of bonsai I want to start developing at the allotment... having lots of ground to grow them in speeds up development of the trunks by a considerable margin. Having no garden is preventing me doing this. It's going to be 5 years until I can afford to buy another house, so the allotment is my only hope....

Gonna have a look at greenhouses and polytunnels this weekend, and will report back on my findings.

Have a good weekend. And if you are from the Stevenage allotment association, do me a favour and bump me up the list....

Naming a new allotment blog

As soon as I thought of starting up a new blog, the cogs started whirring about what I'd call it....


'lost the plot' - technically I'm still losing the plot but it implies...well, you know...


'it-mentallot' - anagram of how important an allotment is to me. But past tense doesn't work....


'hipdeepinweeds'(which I may use for the blog once I finally get one),


'Isoiledmyself' - but I haven't got one yet so technically a lie


'mudfretandfears'


All of mininmal mirth factor to be honest. Of course rather than a blog name I could name myself something different


'Veggie-Kray'


'Plot-Cotton'




However I settled for 'A Seedy Plot' as I figured that at some point I'd have to make some kind of bribe to a local councillor to have any chance of getting a plot before arthritis/dementia kicks in, and this fits in nicely with the theme.


So anyway, I've now waited about 5 or 6 days for a response to my initial waiting list confirmation, asking to go on to two more allotment sites which are also within walking distance of my house (marked with a red X).

As it stands I've applied for site 3, which although technically a fair bit further from my flat, but supposedly has a 0 months waiting list.... Now that I've learned I'm 13th in line I want to apply for the smaller but closer number 6, and for the hell of it I might as well also apply for number 2. Who knows, a sudden bout of plague might sweep across the North Eastern reaches of Stevenage and I could get lucky.


So, I'm going to fill in 2 more application forms and chance my arm


It's frustrating as hell having no garden or any useable outside space after having such a lovely garden before....

I'm having a _____ day

The single country lane that I use to commute across the pretty Hertfordshire countryside was closed off for roadworks this morning. I had two choices.


I could have taken an alternative route; a real ballache of a journey across Stevenage, through busy lights, packed roundabouts and up the A1, to double back on myself 20 minutes later. I'd arrive at work slightly harassed and probably not have time to pick up some lunch before work.

If I took the "road closed" route, across some beautifully picturesque, classic rolling English countryside, and beat the road-workers, it'd be a small victory. However, if I took this route and got 15 mins in to the journey to find a dead-end of plant vehicles and drilling I'd barely be able to double back and make it to work on time.

No real drama, you could argue, but assuming my mood-o-meter started at dead vertical 50% between positive and negative, it'd definitely dip into the left half...


I gambled....

As I tootled across country lanes, past field openings and up and down hills and dips I marvelled at the stunning clarity of the sky over the mist laden vista. It truly was a morning of note; the detail of the sprawling hills camouflaged by the almost white-light of the sun as it cleared the horizon by a full disc, giving a theatrical black silhouette to everything in view, layer upon layer stretching off into the distance.


If I'd brought a camera with me of any quality, I'd have pulled the car over and taken an amateurish shot, chucked it into Lightroom, hit a few random buttons and made millions.


As it was, the juxtaposition of the brilliance of the spring sun against the cotton wool clad fields was truly a joy to my eyes and I felt myself feeling invigorated and speechless.


I mean, that's what being alive is all about, right? Little inspiring moments, compounded into a general mood which shape your day?

Due to the lack of cars on the road, I was able to take a quick stop to have a closer look at a cute old goat which sits by the road halfway between home and work. I take great delight in animals and he's always up to mischief as I pass.

As I slowed down he came trotting out of his hut to take a closer look at me too.

We spent just 5 or 10 seconds watching each other. I enjoyed the moment, while wishing I'd brought a carrot with me, and that I could get out and go and give him a stroke...

So it got me thinking about the fact I felt nice. I felt happy. When we say that we are "having a good day" or "having a bad day", it's generally an accumulation of lots of little events. I mean, sure, buying a house, getting a promotion, having a baby - these are all events which have a huge positive effect on your life, but these are 'destination' events - events you work towards or events which happen so rarely they are merely garnish.

The older I get, the more I realise that true happiness lies in the minutiae and abstract detail of each waking moment. Someone once said to me that life is a journey, not a destination. At the time I didn't really get it - but I do now. I take great pleasure in the simplest of things nowadays.

Anyway, I beat the road workers, arrived at work in plenty of time to pick up some lunch and arrived feeling enriched with the promise of spring. A multi-level mini-victory.

This is why I'm not frustrated that the Stevenage Allotment Association have taken 4 days so far to reply to en email asking to add me to two more local allotment sites. I mean - how long can that take?

Anyway....I'm having a good day. I hope you have one too

An allotment blog....with no allotment?!?

This has the potential to fail in a manner the kids nowadays may refer to as "epically". I mean; on the face of it an allotment blog by someone who has neither an allotment or anything to share knowledge-wise doesn't have an awful lot to contribute.


And I guess that's right.


However, I've set this up now, as I've formally put myself on the waiting list for an allotment in Stevenage and have been reliably told that I'm 13th in line for a Plot on Almonds hill.


So while I whittle the hours away in steadfast patience, waiting for that magic email to drop into my inbox confirming I've moved up to premier position, I thought I should document the reasons behind applying for one, try and convey the profound sense of frustration of waiting for one, and also try and drop in some funny anecdotes.


I might, along the way, link to some other blogs and articles which I've found of particular interest, until I'm able to provide some 1st hand experiences and photo-progressions....


I do have one more blog: dj-bonsai.blogspot.co.uk in which I've chronicled some of the musings and ramblings of my early bonsai growing career - I'm hoping that at least some of my basic level horticultural knowledge will give me a little jemmy-up once(if I ever) am allocated an allotment....


So here's to the future....I don't know how this story will end, but you can rest assured I will deliver a seedy plot at some point in the future...